THAT IS IT

Well, this sucks. The Decline of the West is unfolding before our very eyes.

I cannot believe that the government (actually...) is endorsing this bullshit financial socialism. Why the shit are we giving $700B to Paulson when he couldn't effing do it right the first time? Nevermind the numbers, this actually sets a dangerous precedent for organizations (and others) than aren't fiscally responsible.

*Edit and Update: w00t!

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WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER?

In an MtN first, a guest writer responds to the latest, "amazing" stunt of David Blaine.

In an "amazing" stunt, alleged magician David Blaine hung upside down for about 60 hours. Wow. What is it you think I do you steeze-biter? This "amazing" feat wasn't complete without piss breaks or checkups by doctors either. Do you think that I have doctors on call or take breaks to urinate Blaine? No! I grew up in the hard caves of the southwest, son. The caves where the bat doo-doo is so thick it would have reduced your "amazing" stunt to a mere chuckle.

Now, I enjoy watching your other magic tricks such as trying to grow a moustache or your acting skills after a "levitation", but hanging upside down? Golly gee, that is "amazing". I catch bugs with radar, stupid! Well, not technically radar, but echolocation, the shrill beep beeps coming from my face still would have shattered that lame-ass plexiglass box you stuffed yourself into for 44 days, chief. Let me put it into a bit of batspective: while you were busy losing fans, people were mining my poops! I crap commodities.

At last, the 60 hours were up and the dénouement was near. The crowd was just waiting for the "amazing" finish such as leaping from the gantry into a stack of cardboard boxes or some such nonsense. But no! What happened instead? You "amazed" everyone by wearing black and getting lifted off into the night sky by a freaking crane. Ooh la la.

BatFace

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NONSENSE

Florida Democratic Congressman Alcee Hastings tried to make some negative comments about Sarah Palin the other day. It went a little like this:

"If Sarah Palin isn't enough of a reason for you to get over whatever your problem is with Barack Obama, then you damn well had better pay attention," said Hastings. "Anybody toting guns and stripping moose don't care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks. So, you just think this through."

Listen here pimpsuit, you are a Congressman. Congressman should, at a very minimum, speak proper English. It would therefore be: "...stripping moose DOESN'T care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks." And anyway, why make an off-base ignorant comment like that to begin with? You do realize that the very country which you allegedly represent were hunters, farmers, etc., right?

Say, aren't you the former federal judge who was actually impeached for corruption and perjury? Shut it.

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A BIT OF THE FUNNY

In this incident/article, Jose Cruz got busted for DUI and battery for laying down a shit-mister on an officer. Whoever said the rhyme did the crime, and in this case, the crime didn't pay.

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PUT YOUR FAT FINGER DOWN, MORON

Is it just me, or is nearly every single photograph of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the same tired guy pointing to the sky? There is a variety in this article that shows what I am talking about. There is also a picture of Evo Morales towards the bottom doing what he does best: making his face look fat.

If Iran enjoys having Mahmoud Batshitinsanejad as their spokesman, how can they expect to be taken seriously? That's kind of like lispy Danny Glover being the spokesman for Socialists in the US...oh, wait.

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FORMER PRESIDENT OPENS FACE

Bill Clinton tried to relate with people by rationalizing why he thinks Palin is able to connect with voters. It came out something like this:

"I come from Arkansas, I get why she's hot out there," Clinton said. "Why she's doing well."

It may as well have read: I come from Arkansas, I snorkel with rocket shoes and donut necklaces. To make matters worse:

"I like that little Down syndrome kid. One of them lives down the street. They're wonderful children. They're wonderful people. And I like the idea that this guy does those long-distance races. Stayed in the race for 500 miles with a broken arm. My kind of guy."

Seriously, one of "them" lives down the street? Could you be any more disconnected? And you try to relate to Palin? My kind of guy, indeed. I don't think that 500 miles and a broken arm can compare to 8 years and a broken brain, there Slick.

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IT'S ABOUT TIME, SERIOUSLY

Read about how the Dems after 25 years are going to let the ban on offshore drilling expire. Everyone else but us is drilling off our shores, wake up!

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CONSPIRACY THEORY AND GAFFE

It should be relatively clear by now that Joseph Biden is not the right pick, for anything. There is much talk about how Biden is going to step out 5 October citing health problems and whatnot and Hillary Clinton will step in. This may or may not be the case, but we will have to see.

In other news, Joe Biden gaffed a statement in relation to the financial crisis. He said that

"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened,'"

Couple of issues I have with this. First and foremost is the obvious one that the article pointed out: The stock market crashed in 1929, there professor. FDR wasn't even elected until three years later in 1932. Next issue that I have is if Joey Biden is talking about the market crashing in 1929 and FDR getting on TV speaking about it, there is a decade spread there. You see, FDR was the first President of the United States to be on TV. This was in 1939 when he opened the World's Fair in New York.

Obama-Biden '08 = Helmets for Everyone.

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CLINTON HAS CRAP LOUSY IDEA

In a not too surprising suggestion in reference to the current financial crisis, Senator Clinton suggests that America "Look At Some Great Depression-Era Type Of Governmental Entity to handle it". Say, Hill, would this be one of the governmental entities that Hoover or Roosevelt created and actually made the depression last 16 years? Great idea. I am only kidding; she is not.

Read the article here. Also of note, Senator Clinton has "no doubt" that Obama is going to win. Kind of like she had "no doubt" she would win. Good call.

All except for the fact that financial Socialism will not fix the problem, she is closer to say that Obama has a 50/50 chance of winning. If you think that it will fix the problem, I bet that I can also convince you that oil prices are caused by a "dependence" on foreign oil.

Please, for the love of God and Country, go read something about this stuff.

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OLD NEWS, BUT PERTINENT

I have been reading a bit about Barack Obama's airplane. It usually comes outfitted with several American flags about the fuselage and whatnot. However, after the Obama clan got a hold of it, there isn't any more American flags on the plane. The clan has replaced symbols of America, which Barack is hoping to run, with some crap lousy logo reminiscent of a Muslim sunrise (don't believe me, go and look up his Obama Youth logo). This guy is evil for America. "Change we can believe in", if you believe that you are about as brain-dead as it gets. Come November I would like to see the America that I believe in shut out Socialism altogether and tell Obama (and his wife) to find employment elsewhere. We have enough troubles combating radicals and extremists and there are actually dopes who think that it will get better by electing a radical and an extremist to the White House. Get real. F Socialism and the veiled nonsense Obama is trying to usher it in on. Now, get barack to reality.

There was a youth organization called Obama Youth and had a logo like below:
Nice crescent moon there, Hamas al-Dummy. The logo has since been changed to the crap lousy one that he currently uses and the "group" has been changed to Youth 4 Obama. This, admittedly will be a tough election. However, openly and willingly ushering in Socialism by voting for Barack Obama and his Black Panther wife will do nothing for America but further divide it. The only hope is to have a candidate (or veep) that is like Reagan. There is hope...

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TALLY HO

Hello reader(s). I saw this article printed and had to comment on it.

Within the words are opinions by Lindsay Lohan that Sarah Palin isn't cut out for the job. What's ironic about all of this? Well, if you read anything about Lindsay Lohan, the drunkard/hooker/dopefiend/"actress" you will find that what she has to say just isn't relavant, nor important in the slightest. Perhaps Linday's latest rant was some sort of court ordered therapy? Or perhaps it was just the DT's getting the best of her. Either way, she should shut the hell up and perform as the court jester she really is.

"I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only 4 years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor, which is probably all she is qualified to be," she said.

I mean, really. How ignorant can you be? You are looking down on a woman, Lindsay, that had actual aspirations vice becoming a coked up whore as a profession? Wow, I would say you definitely come out on the bottom of any argument when it comes to aspirations. Although I do enjoy watching your demise on TV and in other media, I would much rather look at an anchor on TV that had actual aspirations vice your face. Eat it saucebox.

Let's take a quick look here you jealous git:




What's the tally, ho? Well, doesn't really matter because You Don't Mess With The Lohan loses every stinking time. Cheers, wench.

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