Minus The Nemesis
A Collaboration of Some of the Finest Thought on Today's World


Friday, January 06, 2006
Whoa Fatty!

In the above article, Baltimore is described as the United States' fittest city. In 2005 it was ranked number 25 of 25. I wonder what the change of pace is? Chicago has taken over the number one spot and has the honor of being the United States' fattest city.

I share the initial surprise of many residents of Baltimore: "You have got to be kidding." I don't know how many readers have been to Baltimore, but my guess is that the numbers are cherry-picked to fit the blubber stats. If you look at the local populace you will find a largely diverse crowd of individuals. A skinny guy here, a fat lady there; pretty much the same as any other city is my guess. It makes me wonder if there aren't scientists who fly in to take the data. I wonder if they sit in their rental vehicle or perhaps a bench in the Inner Harbor and play I Spy. "There is a fat one!" screams one scientist; "Oooh, a skinny couple!" shouts another. Or, there may actually be weigh stations for pedestrians: "Pardon me fatty, we need your stats for a survey." Better still is the theory that the numbers were garnered from a relatively safe spot in Baltimore: the scientist's lab in New Mexico.

I think that the Baltimore Green Zone roughly consists of a small patch of grass outside the Hooters in the Inner Harbor. I am convinced even the animals of the Baltimore Zoo at Druid Hill are trained weapons experts.

At any rate, I am pretty certain that Chicago rising to become the nation's fattest city has something to do with a certain baseball team being so close, yet so far combined with the ensuing depression of the city's residents. Any word there Nemesis?

*Note: After a brief discussion with Nemesis this afternoon, he seems to think the sudden rush to the number one fittest position has to do with the diet of a large part of Baltimore: crystal meth and crack. Now it makes sense how they can stay so skinny.


Comments: Post a Comment