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Minus The Nemesis
A Collaboration of Some of the Finest Thought on Today's World

DRINK COCAINE

Friday, September 22, 2006
"News" Article.

Within the article you will find that there is a "new" energy drink labeled as "Cocaine" and people are upset about it. Some people feel that children may link the Class A drug with the energy drink, or use the drink as a gateway to the Bolivian Marching Powder. Pretty stupid. With about 9.4E67 energy drinks already on the market, who really gives a crap about a new one? Nobody but the people who don't really drink them. With 280mg of caffeine in it, Cocaine claims to not have the sugar crash or jitters associated with other drinks.

I have experienced the sugar crash and jitters from Red Bull. I will have one if I am driving and feeling tired (and have to stay up) etc. I don't really think that Red Bull will give me wings, I don't really think that there is a beast to be unleased within a can of Monster, I don't feel as if I can really sprint down the runway of an aircraft carrier faster than a catapulting F-18 jet if I drink Hooah! Soldier Fuel (in my military years, I haven't even seen a soldier drink this), I don't feel like smashing up a hotel room in a stupor after drinking a Rock Star energy drink, so why on earth would I feel like trying to score a gram of California Cornflakes after drinking one of these new cans? Because common sense prevails, that's why.

I don't know why this new drink is singled out anyhow. Probably just because it's new and actually has the word "cocaine" as its title. I guess the same people that worry about this can totally skipped the boat on "Amp" from Mountain Dew then? After all, to be amped is a slang term for being stimulated by cocaine! Dummies. I think that the worst that will happen is some stupid-ass kid will at most throw up after trying to suck this energy drink through a straw into his/her snot locker.

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