PARIS: CITY OF DIMLY-LIT IDIOCY

With no real relation besides the name as far as I can tell, promiscuous princess Paris Hilton is an idiot. No real surprise there, of course, but the latest "scandal" should leave nothing wanting.

Hilton, who was arrested in L.A. yesterday, called into Ryan Seacrest's radio show to tell her side of the story.

"And um, I had one margarita, starving 'cause I had not ate all day, on my way to In-n-Out which is probably three blocks away, and I'm in my (Mercedes) SLR, which is a little fast, so maybe I was speeding a little bit", she giggled "and I got pulled over."

When you have not "ate" all day, whew, that surely justifies driving while under the influence. Dummy. Rife with justifications such as how her SLR "which is a little fast" (I am no physicist, but I am pretty sure even the SLR is capable of moderate speeds and may in fact have some correlation between how far you press the accelerator down and the resulting speed of which you are traveling), the story is lame. Basically laughing off the incident and saying that she was not charged with DUI also makes Paris Hilton a slutty-liar.

LAPD reporting clearly dictates that the skeleton-dipped-in-wax was in fact arrested and charged with DUI. She was also released on her own recognizance, a standard operating procedure (no, this celebrity didn't get a ride home from police like Patrick Kennedy did). While she only had a BAC of the minimum level to warrant an arrest in California, the point still remains that Paris Hilton is a dummy. Whee!

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